Not that I really expect it to have had a tremendous impact on anyone's life, but I have in fact been away from my soapbox for a while (I've been trying out this new thing - I think it's called living), but I have returned, and will continue to do my bit to bring joy and enlightenment to your otherwise empty and humdrum existences... hopefully with more news stories about sheep-rape, which are always good for joy and enlightenment.

On one of my routine information-trawling expeditions, I snagged this story, which can be summarised as "girl gets to disown twatty parents for giving her a stupid name that will cause her to kill herself before she's half-way through high school".

The girl in question had been named "Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii", although she was in fact from New Zealand. 

The article ran a list of other names bestowed upon New Zealand children by parents similarly sensitive to the importance of social acceptance among peers, the traumas of growing up, and the benefits of having a name that won't get you kicked to shit at school.  These included: Violence, Midnight Chardonnay, Number 16 Bus Shelter, and a set of twins named Benson and Hedges.  Admittedly, "Violence" may have not been kicked to shit at school, but it's unlikely that he/she turned out as the most balanced individual in the world.

Names that had apparently been denied on grounds of unsuitability included: Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Stallion, Twisty Poi, Keenan Got Lucky, Sex Fruit, Fat Boy, Satan, Adolf Hitler and 4Real.

And those are just the morons of one country. 

Reproductive organs should be ripped out at birth, stuffed in a jar with your name on, and only given back once you've passed a test.

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